talk 2 me about characters learning how to be cared about
#but really like talk to me about it#talk to me about the process of being checked on by text message#of being alarmed when someone catches your arm after work and gives you an odd…
I was actually just writing a scene for my book about that. It’s a little rough still, but here’s the scene:
He swallowed, not sure how to help her. “Tell me how it feels?” She struggled a little with the words. “It’s like… Imagine that you’re on a boat in the ocean, far off with no land in sight. One moment its sunny and then suddenly something snaps and its as if you’re thrown into another world completely. The ocean becomes nearly black and the skies close in around you, murderous and dark; consuming.” She drew in a breath, hands shaking a little as she forced a smile, trying to keep calm. Every time she thought of this image it seemed as if she was there. She let out her breath. “She sea starts to rock, and your ship isn’t a ship anymore, its a piece of wood, barely floating in the raging waters. You become terrified and numb at the same time. Your chest hurts for some reason.” Her eyes were distant, moving as if they were searching for something. “And its so very dark, like it wants to crush you. And you hear lightening, thunder strikes, and the flashes of white are… They make you gasp. And you feel it in your body. Like you can’t quite get enough air. You’re panicking. So you try to control your breathing, you try to change what you see. You’re trying, battling, to be in a different place. But the crashes make your chest grow tight and it brings you back all too fast.” Her voice grew higher, her hands trembling, lip quivering. Her eyes were moving faster now, her speech coming out quicker. “And you try and you try and you try. You try to reason with yourself. That it isn’t real, you can choose to feel something else. But every time you try it moves you further and further away from leaving that place. Every fiber of your body is screaming for you to be saved, and at the same time for no one to go near you. You want to be alone, but being alone is killing you. You feel as though you’re weak. You’re weak to be feeling this. People tell you to stop getting lost in your own self pity. As though they think you can get away from it if you just change your mind.” She looked up at him, tears spilling from her cheeks, her lips parted and bitten, her eyes desperate. “And you know you have to save yourself.” A choked sobbing noise comes out of her throat. Immediately, she clenches her jaw, raises her chin, her eyes hardening and moving down. “That’s how it feels.”
He didn’t know what to do. He almost regrets asking. He can see her pain, he can see her battling, but he doesn’t know how to fix it for her. He doesn’t know what to do, and that panics him a little. Should he touch her? What if she doesn’t want to be touched? Should he hug her? He wants to hug her. He wants to pull her out of this. He wants to believe that he can. He wants to help her. He leaned forward a little, like he’s approaching a cautious animal. He looked at her, his eyes searching her face.
“You’re so strong.” He said softly. Her eyes move, tears spilling out faster. Her breathing getting quicker, her whole body trembling. And he said it again. “You are /so/ strong, Elise.” He moved forward a little move, and placed a gentle hand over her own. “Please look at me.” She resists, even closing her eyes tightly. She wants to be held, but theres something so scary about it. She wants it so much though, she wants him to pull her into a brighter place, she wants to depend on someone else for a moment. But she feels weak for that. That’s the weak thing to do. She needs to battle this herself, she needs to fight harder. She can’t let someone help her. But… What if she did? What if that wasn’t weakness? What if she could, just for a moment, allow herself that?
He grew worried. He swallowed. Nervously, he brought his other hand to her face, cupping her cheek gently.
Her eyes snapped up, and a strangled sound seemed to engulf the room, as her body shook under his touch. Another noise came out of her, and another, until he pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her, instinctively rubbing her back.
“It’s okay. I’m here with you. I’m here.” He cooed at her. “Even the strongest of heroes have had to put their trust in others. Trust them to help them carry their burdens. Trust me Elise. Believe in me. You’re so, so strong. But you don’t ever have to carry anything alone. Don’t ever feel weak for holding someones hand as you walk through the dark. We all need that. We’re human. It’s part of our nature to need. You’re allowed to need. It’s okay…” And at this she cried harder, her own arms wrapping around his waist, her body shaking and throat aching with sobs. He simply held her, breathing softly for her, and stroking her hair and her back, until her breathing began to match with his.
“Thank you.” She said quietly.
“Thank you.” He responded, holding her just a little tighter.
Her body relaxed. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. For a moment, everything was okay.